This piece pushes back on remarks by Olivia Wilde, arguing men face real dangers and cultural double standards, and calls for more encouragement and fair treatment for men across family, work, and legal systems.
I’m a mother of boys and I refuse to accept casual contempt for men dressed up as progress. When public figures suggest the world should stop supporting young men, that’s not critique, it’s cruelty wrapped in ideology. Plenty of men I love work hard, raise families, and deserve basic encouragement, not derision.
It only stops when we start calling out the women who push this nonsense, like actress Olivia Wilde, who thinks the world shouldn’t help young men.
“Wow! Lack of an encouraging word is so absurd,” Wilde says, laughing. “I’d say there is a large, booming word of encouragement happening at all times for these men, which is just this world is yours, and you are entitled to it. Which I think is deeply ingrained in our society. And the idea that they need some sort of reminder of encouragement. That they deserve more is ludicrous.”
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Wilde mentions her 12-year-old son, Otis, yet frames encouragement as somehow excessive for boys. If she truly believes that, she’s dismissing the everyday emotional labor parents provide. Mothers and fathers reassure, correct, comfort, and cheer for their children; suggesting boys don’t need encouragement risks teaching them they’re undeserving of care.
Look at the raw numbers: men are the majority of violent crime victims and die by suicide at rates four times higher than women. Dangerous jobs like logging, fishing, and construction are filled mostly by men, and they bear the physical price for it. Those facts aren’t cultural talking points, they’re reality.
In service and sacrifice, the imbalance is stark: men account for 98 percent of all U.S. military deaths and casualties. That’s not an abstract statistic; it’s families grieving fathers, sons, and brothers. We can debate culture, but we cannot pretend those losses don’t matter.
Meanwhile, a cultural tilt in hiring and promotion has become obvious in some circles, with companies openly boasting about excluding certain demographics. Men face hiring bias and promotion barriers in workplaces that celebrate diversity by excluding others. That’s not progress, that’s punishment for personal attributes you can’t change.
The legal and campus environments can be brutal for accused men. A false allegation can end promising futures, as happened to Brian Banks. In 2002 the 16-year-old All-American football player was accused by Wanetta Gibson and, terrified of facing 41 years to life, took a plea that cost him five years in prison, five years probation, and placement on the sex offender registry. Ten years later Gibson admitted she had made the whole thing up and was ordered to pay Banks $2.6 million in restitution, a sum that does little to repair lost years or the damage to reputation.
Court and custody systems often tilt in ways that disadvantage fathers. Men can be burdened with child support obligations even when paternity or fairness is in question, and divorce proceedings can become financial and emotional black holes. Talk of fairness must include the men who lose homes, time with their children, and future prospects.
We should be able to say men need encouragement without being accused of nostalgia for a past that never existed. Encouragement is not entitlement; it’s recognition that people need support to thrive. This isn’t a call to erase gains for women, it’s a demand that men be treated as full human beings deserving care, not as targets for ideological correction.
Ridiculing basic kindness toward men and boys allows resentments to fester and harms children who look to adults for guidance. If we let a celebrity’s dismissal become a cultural norm, we risk normalizing contempt and shrinking the space for compassion. Men build and protect much of what we all rely on; treating them as undeserving won’t make anyone safer or happier.
There are real problems to fix—biases, bad policies, and worst-of-the-worst lies—and calling for decency is not the same as preserving privilege. Encouraging a struggling father, supporting a young man in crisis, or giving credit where it’s due are small acts that keep communities intact. Denying that basic decency because it might make someone feel guilty about the past is a poor trade.
